Stories from the Counseling Room: Being Sick Alone Abroad Is When I Most Want to Cry

A student told me she had a fever of 39 degrees and lay in her room all by herself for a whole day.

She said:

「At that time, I really wished someone could hand me a glass of water.」

「But there was no one.」

「In the end, I got up by myself to boil water, drank it, and went back to lying down.」

She said she really wanted to tell her mom at that time, but she didn't.

「Because I knew she would worry, and I didn't know how to make her not worry.」

「And I knew she would say 'take care of yourself,' but the truth is I can't take care of myself well on my own.」

She said:

「Being sick alone abroad is when I miss home the most.」

「But it's also when I'm most afraid to tell my family.」

「Because telling them wouldn't help anything except make them worry.」

A boy told me:

「Once I had a stomachache so bad I couldn't sleep. I lay in my room until dawn.」

「I wanted to tell them, but I knew they would worry.」

「Then they would ask 'Did you see a doctor' 'Did you take any medicine.'」

「I did go, and I did take medicine, but it still hurt.」

「But I didn't want to explain all that, so I chose not to say anything.」

He said:

「Sometimes I feel like, when you're sick, you miss home the most.」

「Because at home, someone would bring you water, someone would ask if you're feeling better.」

「But here, I'm all alone.」

「I learned to deal with things on my own, because talking about it doesn't help.」

A girl told me:

「Sometimes when I'm sick, I'll pretend everything's fine.」

「Because I don't want them to know I'm sick all by myself.」

「I know they'll worry, and they'll say 'take care of yourself.'」

「But taking care of yourself — that's actually really hard.」

She said:

「Once I had a fever over 38, and I still went out by myself to buy fever medicine.」

「Then I lay in my room, scrolling through my phone, waiting for the fever to break.」

「At that time, I really wanted to talk to someone, but I didn't know who to turn to.」

「I posted on social media 'feeling sick,' and then deleted it.」

「Because I didn't want them to see it.」

A lot of parents ask their kids "how's your health," and the kids all say "it's pretty good."

But the kids might have already pushed through being sick alone many times — they just didn't dare to say it.

Because they know, saying it won't help. You can't do anything about it. It would just cause worry for nothing.

Because they know, after they tell you, there will be a lot of questions — "Did you see a doctor" "Did you take medicine" "Take care of yourself."

But sometimes, what kids need isn't these questions. It's hearing "I know it's not easy doing this all by yourself."

A boy told me:

「Sometimes when I'm sick, I choose not to tell my family.」

「Because after I tell them, they'll worry, and they'll call to ask 'are you feeling better.'」

「Every time I have to say 'I'm much better' 'it's fine.'」

「But actually I'm still really uncomfortable — I just don't want them to worry.」

「So later I learned: when I'm sick, I don't say anything. I wait until I'm better, then mention it.」

「Or I just never mention it.」

He said:

「Being sick alone abroad is when I most want to cry.」

「Not because of the pain — because I'm alone.」

「Sometimes I really want someone to keep me company and chat with me, but there's no one here.」

「So I just lie there alone and wait for it to pass.」

If you're a parent, maybe you could ask:

"Have you ever been sick while abroad? How did you handle it?"

The answer might break your heart — and help you understand your child's "it's pretty good" in a whole new way.

If you're an international student, maybe you could find someone to talk to.

Not because there's "something wrong" with you — but because doing it alone is real, and you deserve to be cared about.

I'm based in Manchester, and I work specifically with international students in counseling.

If you'd like to talk, feel free to send me a message.