Stories from the Counseling Room: Posting Brunch on My Story, But I Went Alone

An international student told me her social media looks really happy.

Brunch, library, occasional sunsets.

But she said:

「That brunch photo—I went alone.」

「After I took the picture, I didn't know what to do. Sat there for a while, then left.」

She said:

「A lot of the time I don't know who to talk to.」

「The social culture here is different from back home. I can't figure it out.」

「It's not that I don't want to make friends. It's just genuinely hard.」

She said sometimes she posts on social media because she doesn't want her parents to worry.

「When I don't post, it's because there's nothing to share.」

「When I eat alone, I think about them. But I don't want them to know I'm by myself.」

A boy told me:

「On the surface I'm an extrovert, but inside I'm introverted to the max.」

「I seem outgoing, but I'm actually socially anxious.」

「I'm scared to reach out to people first—scared of getting rejected, scared of saying the wrong thing.」

「So a lot of the time I'm alone, but I won't tell my family.」

He said:

「I tell them 'I'm doing fine' and 'I've made a few friends.'」

「Actually I haven't.」

「But I know if I say 'I'm alone' or 'I'm lonely,' they'll worry and they'll say 'You need to be more proactive.'」

「I don't want to hear that, so I've learned to fake it.」

A girl told me:

「I've been kind of shutting down lately.」

「Sometimes I really want to talk to someone, but I don't know who to reach out to.」

「Sometimes I feel down and want to post something, but then I delete it.」

「Because I'm scared they'll see it and think 'Why are you like this again.'」

She said:

「Sometimes I'm alone in my room, scrolling through everyone else's posts.」

「When I see people going out, I feel envious.」

「When I see people posting about studying, I feel anxious.」

「Then I'll post 'The weather is really nice today,' pretending I'm doing fine too.」

「But the truth is, I've been in my room all day by myself.」

A lot of parents see their kid's social media and think "My child is so happy" or "They must be doing okay."

But social media is carefully curated frames.

The real parts—they might never have told you about.

They might have been eating alone for a long time, but didn't want you to know.

They might really want to make friends but don't know how to start, but are afraid to tell you.

They might be alone in their room a lot, but what they post is "The weather is really nice today."

A boy told me:

「Sometimes I really want someone to talk to.」

「But I don't know who to reach out to, and I'm scared of being a bother.」

「My social media looks lively, but I've actually been alone for a long time.」

「But I don't want my family to know, because knowing won't help—they can't do anything about it.」

If you're a parent, maybe you could ask:

「Do you have anyone you can talk to over there? Not 'do you have people to hang out with'—I mean 'is there someone you can actually talk to?'」

The answer might break your heart a little.

If you're an international student, maybe you could talk to someone.

Not because there's "something wrong with you"—but because loneliness is real, and you deserve company.

I'm in Manchester, and I specialize in counseling for international students.

If you want to talk, you can message me.