Stories from the Consulting Room: Thank You for Willing to Listen to Me

I work as a counselor in the NHS, and I've seen many international students walk into the consulting room.

They sit down, and the first thing they often say is:

「I actually don't know why I'm here. I'm not really that bad. My mom just insisted I come.」

And then they start talking about things they've never told their parents.

One girl told me:

「Thank you for being willing to listen to me say these things.」

「I've never told anyone these things, because I was afraid they'd worry.」

「But here I don't have to pretend.」

「I can say I'm at my limit. I can say sometimes I want to disappear. I can say I don't want to continue.」

「And you don't tell me what I should do. You just listen.」

「This is the first time I've felt like someone is really hearing me.」

One boy told me:

「Everything I say to my parents is always 'it's fine.'」

「Everything I say to my friends is always 'it's okay.'」

「But I don't want to keep pretending anymore.」

「I want to find a place where I can tell the truth.」

「Not because I'm 'broken,' but because I need someone to listen too.」

One girl told me:

「My mom saw your Xiaohongshu, and then she messaged you.」

「She said 'I think this counselor gets what you're going through. Do you want to give it a try?'」

「I didn't want to come at first, but she said 'I just want you to have someone you can talk to.'」

「So I came.」

「And after I came, I realized, I can actually say these things.」

「I can say 'I'm at my limit' 'sometimes I want to disappear' 'I don't want to continue.'」

「And someone will listen, without judging me.」

「That means a lot to me.」

If you're an international student and you feel this way too:

I really want to talk to someone, but I don't know who to turn to.

I'm afraid to reach out to friends, in case they say I'm being 'too negative.'

I'm afraid to reach out to parents, in case they worry, in case they give me advice.

I'm afraid to reach out to the school counselor, in case there's a language barrier.

Maybe you could find a counselor who speaks Chinese.

Not because you 'have a problem,' but because you deserve to be supported too.

Not because you're 'fragile,' but because carrying it alone is exhausting.

Not because you 'need help,' but because everyone deserves someone who listens.

I'm based in Manchester, and I specialize in counseling for international students.

Services in both Chinese and English, online sessions.

If you want to talk, you can message me.

I'll listen. I won't judge. I won't give advice.

I'll just be there with you, saying the things you don't dare to say.

If you're a parent, and you've read this far, maybe you could share this with your child:

"I saw this counselor, and I think they might really get what you're feeling. Want to give it a try? I'll pay, so you don't have to feel pressured."

Give your child a choice, not a demand.

Give them a space where they can tell the truth.

I'm based in Manchester, and I specialize in counseling for international students.

If you want to talk, you can message me.